so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
