so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
