Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize