Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
