Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
