It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
