Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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