what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
