A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
