Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
