The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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