Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
