oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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