so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
