it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
