So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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