Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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