Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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