you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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