I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
this is an emotional support booty call
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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