You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Text me some of your sweat
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
