Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
