We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
