so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
