she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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