my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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