I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Houston, we have a squirter
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
