My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Let's get the cat blown out
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
