He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
