Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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