is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
