one might say we're banned from that church
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
