Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
