Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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