nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
