I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
