The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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