I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
