My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
