Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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