i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
