$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
