im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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