Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
