i think my mom watched the whole time
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just high enough for therapy.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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