We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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