chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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