first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
