Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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