Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
