That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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