Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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